Saturday, March 8, 2014

The less than bliss moments


As we all know being pregnant means a continuously changing body. In my head I know that logic. The thing is when it actually happens it is still baffling. The changes that happen are gradual from day one you don’t look down at your stomach to see the visual shift in your body. Usually, there is a moment where you look down and realize your body has changed with or without your consent. I would imagine that everyone’s response would be slightly different. Being an avid Pinterest user you see so many women embrace the changes and talk about the blessing of a miracle resting in their stomach. Unfortunately my moment wasn't so beautiful.
                My first trimester I was really good about eating all the right foods and did my pregnancy yoga almost every day! Oh I thought I had this pregnancy thing nipped in the butt! And when we would throw in a walk and some tennis now and again I felt like I was on top of this pregnancy. Not to mention I had very little morning sickness that only seemed to last about two weeks. Sadly the second trimester came. Just to clear the air I am happy about being pregnant, and love my child dearly! It is a miracle that is growing inside me. I see every day of her inside me as blessing. I was, however, unprepared for how different I would feel in each trimester.
                A lot of pregnancy books talk about smooth sailing in the second trimester. Maybe I was left off too easy in the first trimester that the pregnancy world thought that I got my share of miserable side effects of building a baby. If it were possible that all the energy could be sucked out of me at the same time for an extended period of time, then that definitely happened to me. I mean to get up in the morning and do yoga sounds like you are asking me to pull cement blocks that weigh 1,000 pounds each! It might sound a bit dramatic to some, but my body says otherwise. I wish to take naps instead of doing just about anything else, and it never matters how early I go to bed I still want to hit the snooze button in the morning. I have asked my nurse multiple times what I could be doing wrong. Am I not eating properly? Do I need to be doing more? With such a sweet smile she always replies “Today your body could be growing an ear, and it’s exhausting. Cut yourself a break and go take a nap.” Nope. That can’t be it. I must just be lazy I continue to think. My nurse, the only one who knows what she is talking about, is probably the only one that cuts me any kind of slack. Myself, and others seem to wonder why my body doesn't function as it did in the first trimester.
                The other day my husband thought it would be a good idea to take me to get some maternity garments. He had realized I had been a little frustrated and uncomfortable in my pre-pregnancy clothing. Now for a moment let me praise where praise is due. He helped me sort through racks trying to help find my new size and the right fit that I prefer. I believe he helped search for about half an hour. Before we eloped I would have never guessed that any husband would do such a daunting task, but I don’t think I could have picked a better partner if I had tried!  As I was in the fitting room trying things on it finally dawned on me that I really was pregnant. My belly had grown in what seemed overnight since I had yet to notice it. It took everything in me not to cry right then. I had never seen my body so drastically different. I understand why it was happening, but somehow my goal of only gaining the necessary weight that the baby needs had slipped from me and I was now in a bit of excess. Before I get the chants and raves about how we are supposed to gain weight during pregnancy hear me out. I was advised by my nurse and midwife to try and gain only the necessary weight. I had enough cushion that I didn’t need much more to still have a healthy baby. There are a lot of females that were raised to be conscious about their bodies and being able to fit certain measurements. I definitely was one of them. Being a chubby little girl I was reminded of it almost daily. Something about my rebel spirit hated the norm and wanted to fight back and let my body do as it wished, and the other part of me wanted to feel good and fit in. Continuously living with a back and forth struggle apparently came through in my pregnancy. I have heard that a lot of our dirty skeletons seem to creep out of the closet and haunt us while we are pregnant. Maybe it’s to help purge the crap in our lives before we take on the role of caring for another human being. I don’t really know. All I know is that my moment was not as pretty and the shame that came with that wasn’t pretty either.

                There always seems to be bright side though. I realized that there is a baby girl growing within me. I realized that there will always be standards spoken or unspoken about how a woman “should” be, and then the beauty hit me. In about four months I will be a mother to a little lady. She will learn what society has to tell her, but she will also learn what mommy lives out. I could keep the cycle going that I hate, or I can be aware from before she takes her first breath of air. I want to show her that we can be healthy and beautiful. That there is no need to go back and forth hating our bodies, but rather we can make good choices and have fun at the same time. It has taken me all of this time to realize that there is a balance that we can search for. The time delay probably has something to do with the act that I am very much wired to one way or another. I have never been an in between type of person. This can be good for things like marriage and work, but bad for things that need to find a middle ground. I also realized that what I truly saw in the mirror this week I thought I had been seeing for years. I had such a distorted view of what I looked like. So my delusions were shattered and now there is a new perspective for me and this little life growing inside me.  

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